mothercain:

cnghvjgvgj:

mothercain:

one time i ordered a medium tupperware full of banana pudding off facebook marketplace in tallahassee and only ate a quarter of it and got so sick i threw up and then went to this old guy’s house and slept in his bed with him cause our duplex was on the FBI watchlist cause we accidentally let some gang members conspire to molotov cocktail the florida governors mansion on our front porch

was it at least good banana pudding

no, she delivered it to me like it was a drive-by and only cracked her illegally tinted window enough to squeeze it through while she smoked a cigarette and screamed at somebody on the phone. i paid $26 dollars

i’ll never understand florida but this is me trying

woke up to a notification of hayden answering the stupidest anon ask i’ve literally ever sent her and then it got deleted :’)